Lost...

I really don't know what to say right now.  I'm at a cross road in my life and I don't know where to go.  I've been through cross roads before, but this one is different.  If I make the wrong turn, I won't be able to come back.  The path I wanted to go down looked so beautiful.  I seen beautiful sunlight, butterflies, and flowers everywhere.  The other road was dark, gloomy, and scary to me.  I stand in at the cross road knowing that it isn't always necessarily about the path that you take.  A lot of times it's all about the destination of where that path will take you.  So... the fact that I stare at that gloomy path and fear the journey that it has for me may in deed be because deep down inside that it's the one that I have to walk through.  I have to admit, I'm terrified of everything that may happen, but I know God is still looking after me.  Eventually my two feet will start moving, but not now... not right this moment.  When I start to walk, you'll all know.  Either I'll walk to a wonderful new world, or right off the side of a cliff, but either way... you'll know.



Titled: "Lost"

Walking though life blind, as if nothing exists to me…

Not knowing if I’m coming or going…

Or even If I’m living or dreaming…

Dwelling without any destination…

Filled with indescribable sorrow…

Sickened deeply within the depths of my stomach…

Aching for healing…

And understanding…

I cry out to…

No one…

And yet I pathetically wait to be rescued.

This feeling is so familiar to me.

I’m very reminiscent of these kinds of days.

The days when I was held in captivity to my own despair…

As I am now…

And no matter how stronger others thought I had gotten over the years…

My frail soul continues to grow weaker.

I’ve fought for happiness…

But I underestimated my advisory…

And defeat was plagued in my fate yet again.

I honestly don’t know how much longer I have left.

This pain is beginning to be unbearable...

Life’s hurdles are becoming near to impossible to clear…

So I stop…

And drop to my knees…

And ask to be rid of it all…

One way or another.

I didn’t live up to the expectations of many.

It was perceived that I was supposed to be stronger than this.

I apologize to you all…